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  • mike35584

When I Die

I will be alone when I die, there's no delusion to this. I may be surrounded by people, but when I exit this world none of them will be with me. It's something each one of us ultimately face, the solitude of entry and exit to this world. There is only me inside this body, and I'm merely an amalgamation of those I know, those I've entangled with that have shaped my perceptions. When I leave this world they will each carry a part of my consciousness forward.

Some will remember me fondly, some will be aware of how my life impacted theirs. Others won't be aware of it, which doesn't really matter anyway. I've connected with so many, in so many little ways, it's unlikely they'll realize how it changed them.

Some will carry on a grudge, filled with hatred for me long after I've passed. I've made several enemies without ever really trying, and they'll likely be the ones most impacted by my passing. They'll need to find new people to hate for different reasons. It'll make them harder for others to love, and some will blame me for this as well. Perhaps it will one day relieve them of their burden, and they'll suddenly understand, but that's nothing I have any control over.

Those that love me, will feel my absence as a void in their existence. This void will help them find the silence they need to arrive at the next steps in their journey, it'll crystallize their entity in ways that will forever define their character. That's honestly all I could ever do for them, all they ever wanted from my entanglement in their existence. They saw me exactly as I was, and loved me as I loved them.

Some may be tempted into escaping my absence out of sadness at my loss. Deep down they know what to do with that sadness, and once they express it, they'll be free from suffering that shit any further.

If there's one thing to be carried on from this journey, it's how little attention gets paid to those that enjoy it. We're all taught to work our way through it, but that misses the point. We're here to experience our individual lives, here to understand the world as only our unique perspective provides. Everything else is just Ego trying to assert control of it's place within some artificial hierarchy.


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