Contemplations of Ego
Because one day I stopped and looked at what I've accomplished, what I've achieved within my journey, and I realized how profoundly lucky I've been along the way. To have encountered the people I've met, to have felt love and loved without conditions. The beauty I've witnessed in the bleakest of moments, the flourish of success and growth that's always followed.
I've had a truly amazing life, and when I stop for a moment to consider it, there grows an anxiety of worry and concern that I don't really deserve it, that at any moment it will be stripped of me without warning or notice. I have started from zero and built myself here once before, but could I do such a thing again?
Is there enough time left to achieve the impossible goals I've set in motion, our will they die with me and remain forever impossible beyond my observation? Nobody knows, it's not the kind of question that can be answered, only one that haunts you in the middle of the night when you're trying to fall back asleep after waking up to pee.